- The meaning of life (Margarita’s
speech)
What’s the meaning of life for me? What a
question! EVERYTHING. And why everything?
Because life without meaning is a waste
and it is not worth living
When did my life gain sense? It was the
result of a long and bloody search.
And Jesus waited…
My questionings started along with my
disease at the age of twenty-two. Until then I was
“all-knowing”.
I wanted precise and instant answers.
Investigating the Gospels a phrase caught my attention: “My
yoke is soft and my burden
light”
I read, and re-read but there was no way,
for me it was “pure Chinese”. There was a mistake, because
the yoke weighted tons and so did the burden!
And Jesus waited…
How long did it take me to understand
that phrase from the Gospel? Years of inner struggles,
rebellion, self-pity; years of hiding behind the “noise” to
stun myself, to avoid deep thoughts, like someone who runs
from “the bad light”; years of discussing with everyone I
could and years of driving my confessor nuts. I would also
try to run away from my beliefs. Actually, I tried
everything out.
And Jesus; waited…
Only when I fell on my knees on the
ground, because I couldn’t cope with myself
Only when I said: “Be it, Thy will be
done and not mine”
Only when I exclaimed: “Lord, When, How,
and Until Thy want”
Only when I “plunged” entirely in the
hands of Father God
Only when I realized that MY LIFE HAD
SENSE, AND KNEW WHAT MY PATH WAS…
I realized that by making me handicapped,
He enriched my soul.
Because God had a special mission for me.
I realized that I had lost nothing, but found EVERYTHING.
Because Jesus loves me.
All my doubts, inner struggles, and
tremendous rebellions ceased.
And by accepting God’s will, an
indescribable peace arrived, my faith reappeared and hope
came along with a wonderful sensation of feeling loved.
Because Jesus loves me.
And that is why He entrusted
me to transmit His Love.
And because He gave me life,
that is wonderful
And that is why He gave me as
much.
And that’s why I’m free, and that’s why
I’m happy
And now, for being happy, I get a prize,
thank you so much…the prize shall be mine!
- Septiembre 29th
1999
